Tag Archives: AI

The Wordinator

“The robots are coming for your jobs”, they tell us.

“But I’m a writer!” I cry. “How could a machine create inspired works of fiction?”

Here’s The Science:

OpenAI is a billion dollar artificial intelligence research group dedicated to sharing information to stop the development of dangerous technologies. In 2019 they abruptly changed their strategy after developing GPT-2, which they deemed too dangerous to unleash upon the world.

GPT-2 is a text generator so powerful that they fear it may flood social media with synthetic noise or devastate our ability to parse news from propaganda. Imagine if 9 out of 10 articles were like ‘Pizzagate’, forever.

To give the public a sense of its potential, they released a nerfed version of GPT-2 that was trained on much smaller sets of information. Will futuristic technology make the human fiction writer a thing of the past? I thought I’d take it for a spin with the service StoryAI.

I provided the opening lines, what they call the ‘story seed’. Everything after that was generated from the hobbled version of GPT-2.

Here was one of my first experiments:


(The A.I. generated this headline)

I’ll have you know that I am a troll with a body

(The A.I. chose this image)

 

Photo by Audi Nissen on Unsplash

(The human wrote)

The Shrehkt dragged its talon across the parchment, crossing another name off its list with fresh blood. It had slain Ulbrim The Invincible, the paranoid blacksmith who had worn three overlapping suits of armor. It had eliminated Laramis, the faery cutthroat who could dance on the wind and press her invisible blade to your throat as fast as you could blink. So too had the Beast of Slab Iron been culled, though it could squeeze its tendrils through fathoms of rock, snatch a fish from a falcon in flight, and pulp a war elephant in its coils.

The Shrehkt unfurled its parchment, smiling as it bounced and rolled across the floor. Yesss, ssso many more targetsss. Ssso many thingsss to crosss off itsss lissst. The next creatures on its list were…

(The A.I. continued)

Trolls”, a species of troll that had been long thought extinct, until the Shrehkt, a troll with no body, was caught. estampit

Said troll was half-orc, though it could easily have just been a troll with a body. estampit

Said troll, as it dragged its half-orc body down a hallway. estampit

Said troll, with its body in the air. estampit

Said troll, in its half-orc body… estampit

Said troll! It had done it! estampit

Said troll! Yessss! estampit

Said troll! Yessss… estampit

Said troll! Yessss! estampit


Well, not quite what I was hoping for. I’m not in love with the picture, but the title has a flair that I would not have come up with on my own.

Perhaps I should do as Elon Musk suggests, and partner with the AI to combine our powers. Here are some stories I seeded, generated, and then reapplied my human sensibilities to.


(The A.I. generated this headline)

The old days were the days before the rise of the sun

and they were like a perfect world

(The A.I. chose this image)

“More jokes!” roared the Ogre. He swayed in the doorway of the dimly lit tavern, bellowing, drinking, yet never quite falling down drunk. The huddled villagers did their best to ply him with grog and humor. These were the jokes they told.

“It was like the old times,” said one.

“If you had been here,” the Ogre grunted, and the bar stool he was sitting on fell slowly to the floor. The Ogre took two gulps of his beer before he looked at the old bearded woman with the yellow fur. She was holding a pint of wine in one hand and a handful of bread in the other. The Ogre took a glass of beer before taking another sip of wine.

“I remember the old times,” said the old lady. “You must have been young then, and you had those times with us.”

“Yes,” said the Ogre. “There was great fun in those days. It was like living in a fairy tale… a perfect world, in some ways.”

“It was like having a full day, every day, to run around the world,” she continued. “We heard of the old gods who loved us all.”

The Ogre laughed. “I know that sounds ridiculous, but it had a certain magic about it. We lived up in the mountains. At the height of summer, when the sun started to rise, we would gather at the mountain’s peak, drink and chase away the night,” he continued.

The woman smiled. “I remember how it felt.”


Not too bad. I was hoping to generate a bunch of weird jokes, but instead it generated a melancholy vignette. 

This was an attempt at a Fantasy/Thriller. Somehow it got converted into a computer age story about the video game The Last of Us. It is dialogue heavy and sentimental, unlike what I typically write, so I wasn’t able to do much with it. I cleaned it up enough to make it readable.


(The A.I. generated this headline)

A lot of people think that the Last of Us

is a story about the end of the world

(The A.I. chose this image)

Photo by Timon Studler on Unsplash

Maris pressed her sweaty forehead against the cold marble wall and gasped. If she could just stop running, if she could get a moment of sleep, perhaps she could wrap her mind around the artifact in her satchel. She had risked everything to steal it. Would it be worth it?

She touched the crystal catalyst and drifted into dreams of power and possibility.

-The Last of Us Chapter 3-

“It isn’t an artifact,” Ellie said, not wanting to mention the word again. She swallowed hard as she spoke, not wanting anything too intimate to come out. “No,” she repeated again without looking up from the computer screen to stare at the woman. “It is the culmination of my years of experience and… my research.”

The woman gave a low whistle. “I see,” she frowned. “Yes,” and gave Ellie another too-low whistle. When the whistle faded, Ellie was sure that the woman had been thinking about her. “You are going to be a big deal and I know it. We are going to become heroes.”

She grinned in a way that told Ellie she was having a bad day. Ellie couldn’t tell what that was supposed to mean, but it felt good.

“But you want to give up your life as a hunter?” She was being so damn honest.

“For now. Maybe, once I do the rest of the research on the artifact,” Her face turned serious. “But I could… maybe… leave something behind for my daughter.”

Ellie tapped on the laptop with all her might.

“And what do you know about those ancient ruins on the island?” the woman asked.

“I… that kind of ruins are… too… dark for us,” Ellie said, closing the laptop. “Especially the dark places.”


The dark ruins are intriguing. I wonder what that story would have been about?

My attempt at a sci-fi story got sideswiped by a random mention of an unknown type of fetish pornography. You’ll know it when you see it (as the old saying goes), but the AI doesn’t linger on it, so you won’t have to either.


(The A.I. generated this headline)

Hey, you know what’s pretty cute?

 (The A.I. chose this image)

‘Bugborgs aren’t just for kids anymore’, the advertisement shouted. ‘Why not put a Bugborg under the tree for the students and professionals in your family this Christmas? Grandma needs company too!”

Ugh, I have enough of the little monsters crawling around the class room. Now I’m supposed to let them infest my home?

The words were spoken more than 50 years ago, but many of us still remember them. It may have been one of only a handful of ads of its kind. It wasn’t until more recent times that more awareness was drawn to the fact that these advertisements for a new type of creature—the Bugborg, often erroneously referred to as an eggbug—were all too common. Now, thanks to Google and the rise of “cub porn”—online porn featuring humanoid creatures—we are no longer so shocked when these kinds of ads hit the web.

They look like bug-shaped eggs, complete with tiny, translucent, insect like legs and antennae.

They have the distinct advantage that their bodies can expand from one size to another. And if you look closely, all of them look identical.

It’s all a bit unsettling, when you think about it. It looks like something out of an 80s science fiction movie, or maybe a child’s sketchbook. The Bugborg can walk, climb, crawl by themselves, and even crawl on the wall with their own body parts.

When they hatch, a female begins to grow around her own egg. She has only about 5 legs. If a female is not lucky enough to hatch before her mate does, she dies. When she’s fully grown, her large body begins to turn into her giant form. In the breeding season, this giant form will be completely different from the insect-like forms. She may be able to fly.

They aren’t just for kids anymore.


That one got a little freaky.

My final experiment hoped to leverage the godlike power of Artificial Intelligence to create a third sequel to the Teen Wolf movies.


(The A.I. generated this headline)

“Wolfman” is a wolf who has been raised by wolves

(The A.I. chose this image)

Photo by Tom Pottiger on Unsplash

Teen Wolf 3 was not based on the MTV show, nor was it the rumored Alyssa Milano hockey vehicle. Teen Wolf 3 was the long awaited conclusion to the trilogy that would launch the Wolfiverse franchise. The original Teen Wolf featured Michael J. Fox as a down on his luck high school basketball player who had to learn how to control the power of becoming a werewolf. The sequel, Teen Wolf Too, starred Jason Bateman as a collegiate boxer.

“Teen Wolf Three is about the end of the series, and The Wolf Within is not the finale – it’s the start of the story!” say Director Tim Kring and writers Scott Gimple and Michael J. Fox.

Bernard Munch is wearing a wolf on his sleeve.

In the first season, the Wolves have new sidekicks, the Wolfbrothers. The Wolfbrothers are wolves who have been “born” into werewolf society and raised by wolves.

Bernard appears in the opening credits of Teen Wolf as a werewolf, and later appears in the end credits, also as a werewolf.

Bernard’s werewolf sidekick was shot to death to keep the wolf in line.

Bernard Munch’s character was then killed off. Bernard’s character’s story didn’t go anywhere.

Tim Kring’s character was resurrected as a werewolf after saving Wolf’s life. Tim Kring’s character’s story didn’t go anywhere. Tim Kring’s character turned into a werewolf, and he had the final words in the entire Wolfverse, “This isn’t over.”


Hot damn! That sounds amazing. 

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

An open apology to KITT

I am sorry.

It is with a heavy heart, hat in hand and tear stained cheeks that I grovel before you. I have spoken irresponsibly, making wild statements such as “KITT from Knight Rider has no offensive capabilities, Airwolf would destroy it every time.”

Mea culpa.

I have searched my heart, the television archives and numerous fan made wikis to set the record straight.

Of course KITT has offensive capabilities. Not only does it have a flamethrower and tear gas launcher, it has a frikkin’ laser!

Aim_Laser

I don’t know why I forgot this, as everything in the 80’s had mandatory lasers. Had G.I. Joe, M.A.S.K. and Rick Springfield’s music video for ‘Bop ‘Til You Drop’ taught me nothing?

 

To be sure, the laser was rarely used. It struggled with its power supply, calibration and range. While it may have failed to destroy the evil KARR, it did bullseye a weakspot the size of a quarter on Goliath.

How could a horizontal mounted short distance, 3 shot capacity laser possibly take down a super helicopter like Airwolf? Let’s start slicing apples and oranges (not with a laser, though. We only have 3 shots).

Let’s start with Defense:

KITT has the vaunted Tri-Helical 1000 MBS, the ‘Molecular Bonded System’ that makes it indestructible. It has been claimed to be resistant to everything except for heavy artillery and missiles. This is largely true – it has even shrugged off rounds from a gatling gun and high speed head on collisions (RIP KARR).

With its upgraded super pursuit mode, KITT can travel at 420 mph.

In addition to physical defenses like magnesium flares, smoke screens and oil jets, KITT has a dizzying array of electronic warfare capabilities including long distance sensors, and an almost magical electronic jamming systems that could control other machines. In Episode 26, “Merchants of Death” the Microwave Jammer’s power has been increased 3 times than its normal strength, strong enough to bring down a helicopter, but only when KITT managed to jump over it.)

Airwolf is bullet proof and armored, though not to the extent that KITT is. It does have enough of its own electronic counter measures that we may assume that it would not be the deciding factor in a confrontation.

Airwolf has 30mm cannons, .50 cal chain guns, and dozens upon dozens of missiles, all sufficient to exceed KITTS threshold of invulnerability. With a cruising speed of 350 mph and the option to kick it up to Mach 2 (over 1,400 mph) there is no way KITT could outrun it. With a flight ceiling of 89,000 ft and up, KITT’s short range laser won’t be very useful.

military-aircraft-airwolf

If ‘The Firm’ orders Airwolf to destroy KITT from on high with extreme prejudice, it would be over in minutes. Even with KITT’s anti-heat seeking flares, smoke screens and faster than human reflexes, the battle would be determined by overwhelming air superiority.

But let us imagine that the Foundation for Law and Government gets wind of The Firm’s hostile intentions. What advantage could a car possibly have over a supersonic high altitude weapons platform?

Teamwork.

michaelknight

KITT possesses advanced, general artificial intelligence. In retrospect, the fact that this was used to drive a Pontiac instead of irrevocably transforming the fate of mankind is insane, but perhaps there is a long game here that has yet to be revealed. I digress.

The important thing is that Airwolf’s crew members are confined to one vehicle, while KITT and Michael can operate independently.

Why would Airwolf ever give up its decisive advantage and get close to the ground? That’s just how its pilot, Stringfellow Hawke, rolls. He’s not the type to use chainguns on a man fleeing on foot. His preference is always low and slow, map of the earth stunt flying.

Airwolf_ii

If KITT were to play dead, perhaps after a spectacle of smoke screens and evasive driving, Michael could get out and run from Airwolf.

airwolf on foot

If Airwolf took the bait and came down low, KITT could turbo boost upto 40 feet in the air and either use its laser or simply ram its indestructible body into the helicopter.

turbo boom.gif

If you really want to think outside the box, KITT could use his Surveillance Mode to hack into The Firm’s systems and then use his Voice Synthesizer and Voice Stress Analyzer to call Archangel to coerce, threaten and blackmail him into calling off the attack.

So the next time you are at one of your glitzy cocktail parties and a group of people are debating 80’s action properties and dismissing Knight Rider, remember the frickin’ lasers.

Will I ever get back the time I spent researching this? Will you ever get back the time you spent reading it?

No.

And for that, I am sorry.


If you do like to go deep on pop culture action, perhaps you’d like my dark superhero novel CRITERION.

CRITERION is available now in print and digital at

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Google Play

Smashwords

iTunes

Kobo

Crossroad Press

 

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized