Monthly Archives: September 2011

Fighting Terror with Terror

I can’t help but kick off my month long celebration of Hallowe’en a little early (technically I celebrate 33 days of Hallowe’en, counting Nov. 1st and 2nd for Dia De Los Muertos).

My friend Elliott suggested we remake Blacula with Chewitel Ejiofor.  That is certainly an awesome idea, but I thought I’d throw my cape into the ring with something a bit goofy yet still kinda awesome.

EXT. AFGHAN DESERT – TWILIGHT

2 American special forces commandos stalk across the baked desert earth.  The sun has just sunk beneath the horizon, spreading red finger-like clouds up to the stars.

The CAPTAIN, a tall black man, peers down into a deep valley at a caravan through a pair of high-tech night vision goggles.

 

CAPTAIN

God damn, it’s the entire Taliban.  And it looks like

they’re going to retake afghanistan tonight.

The Captain raises his goggles and we see his face.  It is Big Daddy Kane (a.k.a. Father Time from the Outlaw Posse).

 

His 2nd in Command whispers GPS coordinates into a field radio.

 

He turns around and looks at the the Captain.  The 2nd in Command is none other than Snoop Dogg.

CAPTAIN

Where’s that air support, lieutenant?

Just then, a giant BAT flaps down behind them and transforms into BLACULA !!!

 

BLACULA

Your unit was ambushed by the Taliban.  I’m your air support now.

CAPTAIN

In that case it looks like it’s up to me, Lieutenant Dogg and

Blacula to take on the entire Taliban.

Blacula whips out a full sized coffin and flips the lid.  It is full of high powered rifles and anti-tank weapons.

 

LIEUTENANT DOGG

Fo’ shizzle.

INSERT TITLE SEQUENCE: RIDE, BLACULA, RIDE !

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Round Trip to Davy Jones’ Locker

My story LEVIATHAN is now online at Avenir Eclectia.   This is the second story featuring Dr. Kwame Singh, and this time he’s taking the plunge into the alien planet’s ocean depths.

He takes his ride in a high tech bathysphere.  The bathysphere was invented in the late 1920’s by Otis Barton and William Beebe to observe deep-sea animals in their natural habitat.  These brave explorers would climb into the 1 inch thick steel sphere and the hatch would be bolted shut.  For oxygen they breathed in cannned air, used trays of chemicals to absorb CO2, and circulated the air by hand with palm fans.

A crane lowered the craft on a cable half a mile down into the ocean.  Their windows were giant plugs of fused quartz.  General Electric provided a lamp to illuminate animals and Bell Laboratories provided a telephone system so that the sphere could communicate with the surface.

Down at such crushing depths there were many ways to die.  One thing they didn’t worry about was drowning: due to the immense pressure any leak meant that “the first few drops of water would have shot through flesh and bone like steel bullets.”

Not only did they broadcast some of their dives over national radio, they also brought film cameras to record many fish new to science, and set many new depth records.  Because they could not bring back the specimens they observed many of the alien and bizarre creatures could not be confirmed until many years later.  Some of those beasts have still not been confirmed at all.  Beebe wrote an article for National Geographic  titled “A Half Mile Down: Strange Creatures Beautiful and Grotesque as Figments of Fancy, Reveal Themselves at Windows of Bathysphere”.

Soon the bathysphere was made obsolete by advances in submarine technology.  The New York Zoological society loaned the craft to the U.S. Navy and later the World’s Fair.  It ended up in an exhibit in the New York Aquarium, but was later moved to storage for almost a decade under the Coney Island Cyclone.

Imagine a group of curious boys crawling under the Coney Island boardwalk and finding the silent hulk half buried in the sand.  The brass bolts, green with rust, are unyielding.  They throw rocks at the strange thick windows and they bounce off, sending deep gongs across the steel shell and through their skin.

Something skitters to life inside the bathysphere but the sound is lost as the roller coaster rattles overhead.  What grotesque creatures had been spotted out those windows so long ago, never to be seen again?  Something uncoils beneath the sand.  The Cyclone thunders by again, snatching up the screams of children into its chorus.

~~~~~~~~~

While you’re at Avenir Eclectia also check out the stories by my fellow authors Ed M Erdelac and Greg Mitchell.

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